Quarter Life

About seven months ago, I was ranting to my former colleague and friend why we couldn’t seem to find anybody who could be “The One” for us. Sure we had our own unfounded romantic interest with our own respective sordid lives, but I wondered:

What made them special?

Of course, the natural course of thought could succeedingly ask:

Why doesn’t “The One” like me… that way?

Well.

Good, Fast and Cheap.

You can have any two, but never all three.  As a designer by profession, I got to understand the intricacies of the designer’s holy triangle and I never got to go beyond it professionally.

But that’s not the point. Upon further discussion, delving deeper into our personal lives, we realize that it’s not just about Good/Fast/Cheap. As much as we care to ignore it, the same paradigm can also be applied to relationship, or non-relationship for that matter.

Let’s change Good/Fast/Cheap to the following:

Smart/Hot/Likes You.

Remember that.

So following the same logic: somebody can like you and be smart, but most likely not Hot, somebody can like you and be hot, but not smart.  Likewise, and sadly, somebody can be smart and hot but just does not like you.

In the same way, somebody can like you but isn’t smart OR hot, et al.

A few months later, I would come to refer to this as the Trifecta.  The Trifecta, in theory, would probably what people in a legitimate, honest relationship would attest to having; but for matters of sardonic thought and basic human bitterness, I would say this does not actually exist — lies popularized by rom-coms and vampire themed books (ok so that was random). The media whored the idea of the existence of the Trifecta and that people could actually find them… like unicorns — and the tooth fairy allegedly hiding behind pretentions of antagonism (like The Proposal, hilarious though) or cosmic serendipity (500 Days of Summer).  Whatever the circumstance or fantastical ideology, The Trifecta seems to be a major step to getting out of the shithole that is the quarter life.

If there’s one consistency in my crisis, it’s McDonald’s Crispy Chicken Fillet.  That salty, breadcrumb-y crust of thinly sliced breast fillet with overflowing gravy and tantamount of rice could temporarily fill the Void with salty goodness.

I haven’t had it for the last three months.  So today I called up 8-mcdo to get my fix because I was too non-functioning to get up and get a life.

30 minutes later, I rose up from my bed to get the door.  Food arrived.

After paying, I hastily pried open to reveal the breadcrumb-y chicken deep fried in saturated fat.  Watching TV, I shoved the first spoonful of rice drenched in gravy and chicken and stopped.

There was a moment of disappointment as I realized there wasn’t any salt in all three orders of crispy chicken fillet that I ordered.

I was not happy.

When did McDonalds stop being consistent? It bothered me, but I already resigned to the fate of eating under-salted food items.

More to the point, when did I resign from living?  the whole day I was stuck in bed after the college I teach at informed me that there were no classes because of electrical problems.  I stood up either because I had some faulty product my boss informed me of, or when I had to go to the bathroom.

Otherwise, I was under the mattress, wistfully thinking that this slump would be over soon.  Sleeping it off might expedite the process.  I woke up when my friend told me she’s coming over because of her own emotional slump.  My head was throbbing because of oversleeping.

We figured getting some Starbucks coffee could get us a temporary fix for our individual Voids.  I got myself a Molten lava cake and a toffee nut frap, mainly because I’m coveting the 2010 Starbucks planner.  Its gray felt cover won me over as compared to its predecessor, that horrible red plastic leathery disaster.  Big improvement.

Photo courtesy of pinoycravings.com

The molten chocolate cake was relatively good, I admit.  the warm cake with whipped cream glazing over it was a treat but I thought the caramel drizzle was a bit of overkill.  I got the first bite and, there was chocolate filling inside it.  Two big chunks of cake and I was done.  I thought they should serve it a little bit smaller.

The toffee nut frap was an overkill of sweetness I opted not to finish.  Too overwhelmingly sweet and too caramel-ly for me.

Obviously I’m not a fan of caramel.  I should have ordered my usual green tea frap or soy latte.  Tea would’ve be a better match for the Molten lava cake but I seriously avoid Starbucks’ tea offerings because the zen tea tastes like toothpaste.

I recently turned 24.

My boss said his 24 was the highlight of his years.  He backpacked Europe and got an MA.  By 26 he built a company where I currently work as a drone for.

He said 24 is just the right age where I’m old enough for people to take me seriously but young enough to make mistakes.  It’s so quotable that somebody should put it in a hallmark greeting card.  Seriously.

My quarter life crisis started six years ago, back when I was a freshman in College. Single, in love with my high school best friend who’s… well, let’s just say my best friend’s not available.  Codename, IT (used with permission).

It’s such a stereotype, I know.

Of course, as stereotypes go, IT didn’t know about my one-sided affection.  And of course, IT never happened, unsurprising.

Story of my life: Stereotypically Unsurprising.

Anyway, life happened and IT faded away from my line of sight and I was left with a giant piece of metaphorical shit.

I had this mixture of feelings I could only describe as apathy mixed with a dehisce of emptiness and longing.  Years later, I would refer to this as The dreaded Void.

So back to the present, where six years later, my void, after watching 500 Days of Summer, has become a gaping black hole… it sucks.

Void Cracking Movie

I just recently turned 24 and the Void is the main reason I have a QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.